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Short Funny Poems

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How and why do people find things funny? Surprise, misdirection, contradiction, ambiguity or paradox bring funny experience. People respond to funny things with laughter. What do these short funny poems bring you?
Funny nationalities
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Im CANADIAN Hey... Im not a lumberjack, or a fur trader... and I don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled... and I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, although Im certain they're really, really nice. I have a Prime Minister, not a President. I speak English & French, NOT American. And I pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'. I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack. I believe in peace keeping, NOT policing. DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation, AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL. A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH, AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!! CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS! THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA! MY NAME IS JOE!! AND Im CANADIAN!!!!!!!!
Im ITALIAN Ciao… Im not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor. I don't live in a basement, or eat pasta every night. And I don't drive a Camaro. And I don't know Tony, Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge, Although Im certain they're very, very hairy people. I drink wine…not beer. I don't use utensils for pizza. I believe in open bars at weddings, not cash. And its pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO. I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during the worldcup. Gelato IS ice cream, Biscotti ARE cookies, Antonio Columbro IS the best of the tenors, And it's Broo-Sketta, not Broo-Shetta!! Italy is the ONLY country shaped like footwear, The FIRST nation of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!! My name is Guiseppe !!! AND Im ITALIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im PAKISTANI Allo, Im not a cab driver, a 7-11 clerk or a gas attendant. I don't go to fleamarkets, or worshipelephants, or eat with my hands. And I don't know Akbar, Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle, Although Im certain they're very smelly people. I eat roti….not pita. I don't only shower once a week, I believe in discounts, not full price. And I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT. I can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during a terrorist siege. A turban IS an article of clothing. Spicy foods ARE better than mild foods Curry is a VERY tasty dish, and it IS pronounced Gaun-dee,not Gun-dee ,GAUN-dee!! Pakistan IS a third world country, The first nation of Cricket And the BEST part of the middle east!! My name is Raheem! AND Im PAKISTANI!!!!
Im CHINESE! Wai… Im not a cook, or a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat. I don't live with my parents, I don't eat dog. I don't drive a souped-up Civic. And I don't know Ping, Ching or Wing from Beddingt Heights Although Im certain they're very rice… I mean nice people. I use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the sidewalk. I believe in giving cash, not gifts And I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO. I can proudly wave my country's flag at a tank during a massacre, Dim sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk Jet Li can kick Van Damme's ass anyday. And it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi, not Gon HEE Fa China is the LARGEST country in Asia The FIRST nation of PING-PONG, And the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!! My name is FUNG!!! AND Im CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and finally…….. Im AMERICAN Wassup… Im not particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked. And I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive very well. I don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci or Gutenberg, although Im pretty sure they were American. I drink beer, not water, Im outspoken, not opinionated, Guns settle disputes, not discussions. Winning isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing, And it's pronounced RUFF, not ROOF. I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack, unless I go somewhere. Burger King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS, Twinkies and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast, I have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS REAL! The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA is the ONLY country in the world, The FIRST nation of IGNORANCE, And the BEST part of SOUTH AMERICA!! MY NAME IS JIM-BOB, Im married to my sister, AND Im AMERICAN!!!!!!!

Author: Unknown

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Free poems >> Poems >> Poem types >> Short funny poems >> Short funny poems titles >> Funny nationalities >> Publish Short funny poems >> Find Short funny poems