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Short Funny Poems

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How and why do people find things funny? Surprise, misdirection, contradiction, ambiguity or paradox bring funny experience. People respond to funny things with laughter. What do these short funny poems bring you?

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Words Poem Read: 7666

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men. The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

Author: Unknown

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Women Are Smarter Than Men Poem Read: 8961

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "Im just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die and I will inherit 20 million dollars." The woman went home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother.

Author: Unknown

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Wife V/S Husband Poem Read: 5613

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Author: Unknown

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Why are married women heavier? Poem Read: 4560

Because single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed while married women come home see what's in the bed and go to the fridge

Author: Unknown

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Stupid And Beautiful Poem Read: 6887

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. "The wife responded," Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

Author: Unknown

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O' My school Poem Read: 2041

It's such a drool
such a bore
Im gonna snore

Taking the test
about the west
if I fail
Im gonna wail

Author: Mindy

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If u love someone Poem Read: 8150

Original Quote
If you love someone, Set her free... If she comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, she never was....
The new versions.....
Pessimist:
^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was
Optimist:
^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back.
Suspicious:
^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why.
Impatient:
^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back within some time forget her.
Patient:
^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ...
Playful:
^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free ... * If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat *
C++ Programmer:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
if(you-love(m_she)) m_she.free() if(m_she == NULL) m_she= new CShe;
Animal-Rights Activist:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!!
Lawyers:
^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the Second Amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...
Bill Gates :
^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
Biologist :
^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve.
Statisticians : (Apte)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway.
Schwarzenegger's fans:
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone, Set her free, SHE'LL BE BACK!
Over possessive person
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone don't set her free.
HR specialist
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free by Offering her VRS and other benefits Then outsource her.
MBA
^^^
If you love someone set her free instantaneously and look for others simultaneously
Psychologist
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back her super ego is dominant If she doesn't come back her id is supreme If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
Somnabulist
^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back it's a nightmare If she doesn't, you must be dreaming.
ERP functional expert
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, map her into your system If she doesn't, carry out a gap-fit analysis
Finance expert
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.
Marketing Specialist
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you love someone set her free If she comes back she has brand loyalty If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new market

Author: Unknown

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Funny thank you Poem Read: 6543

A man is stranded on a desert island for 10 years, when one day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit. Man: "Hi! Im so happy to see you." Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" Man: "It's been 10 years!" With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man a cigarette. Man: "Thank you so much!" Girl: "So tell me how long has it been since you had a drink?" Man: "It's been 10 years!" The girl unzips another pocket on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink. Man: "Thank you so much. You are like a miracle!" Girl (starting to unzip the front of her wet suit): "So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?" Man: "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there, too...!"

Author: Unknown

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Short funny poems titles

Free poems Words
Free poems Women Are Smarter Than Men
Free poems Wife V/S Husband
Free poems Why are married women heavier?
Free poems Stupid And Beautiful
Free poems O' My school
Free poems If u love someone
Free poems Funny thank you
Free poems Funny Questions
Free poems Funny nationalities
Free poems Funny marriage
Free poems Funny goodbye sayings
Free poems Funny farmer
Free poems Funny engineers
Free poems Funny ending
Free poems Funny dog
Free poems Funny conclusion
Free poems Funny body switch


Free poems >> Poems >> Poem types >> Short funny poems >> Short funny poems titles >> Publish Short funny poems >> Find Short funny poems